Thursday, December 04, 2008

Top 10 Doomsday Threats I thought about in 2008

10. Comet Icarus

"In 1968, a cult assembled its followers atop a mountain in Colorado to flee a perceived threat from the asteroid Icarus, which passed Earth at a distance of four million miles on June 14 that year. Icarus' visit, they feared, would coincide with California sliding into the Pacific Ocean."

Internet rumors concerning Icarus' return were once again spread in 2006, but to no avail.

9. Apocalypse

A constant thorn in everyone's side, this ancient mutant has pestered many a good man, woman, and child over the past 30 years, trying to form his "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse."

While many of his attempts to subjugate human kind have been thwarted, he has yet to have been killed, and thus remains a significant threat regarding his namesake.

8. Dogmatic Beliefs (see: RADBERTUS, right)

Imagine this: there are some people who have beliefs that no one is allowed to question. NO ONE. If some thoughts have survived for hundreds of years, there's no way they can be wrong, or could ever have been misinterpreted. If I have a thought, and it's mine, and I want it to be true, I can completely ignore EVERYONE and hold on to my belief, regardless of reason, experience, enlightenment, whatever! Cool!

7. World Leaders of any nuclear nation

You've all seen the flash video. Mars survives.

6. Communists

Well, it's just like anything else these days: "What have you done for me lately?"

Though the Cold War may seem like ages ago, it should arrive again in full force come March, 2009, with the release of the Watchmen film.

For those of you who have not read this magnificent graphic novel by Alan Moore, I'll not spoil the ending. But the Communists are a Top 6 Doomsday Threat for some reason.... *wink*

5. Plague

(from the MedlinePlus web entry)

Also called: Bubonic plague, Pneumonic plague
Plague is an infection caused by the bacterium Yersinia pestis. The bacteria are found mainly in rats and in the fleas that feed on them. People and other animals can get plague from rat or flea bites. Historically, plague destroyed entire civilizations. In the 1300s, the "Black Death," as it was called, killed approximately one-third of Europe's population. Today plague is uncommon. This is largely due to better living conditions and antibiotics.
There are three forms of plague:
Bubonic, which causes the tonsils, adenoids, spleen and thymus to become inflamed. Symptoms include fever, aches, chills and tender lymph glands
Septicemic, in which bacteria multiply in the blood. It causes fever, chills, shock and bleeding under the skin or other organs
Pneumonic, in which the bacteria enter the lungs and cause pneumonia. People with the infection can spread this form to others. This type could be a bioterror agent
Treatment for plague is a strong antibiotic. There is no vaccine for plague.

4. Peter Fairchild

Maniacal and deviant, this self-proclaimed "Overlord" is reportedly nearing the completion of his Doomsday Device. Concerning the device, codenamed "Artemis," internet rumors have swirled about a machine capable of reducing the Moon to a mere cinder. The resulting gravitational flux would send the Earth spiralling out of its current orbit, possibly into one incapable of supporting life. As long as South Korea continues to yield him safe harbor, there's little our government can do to protect us.

3. Nostradamus

If ever there was anyone to fear controlling our future from the distant past, it's this guy. You're all familiar with his prophecies, which for some reason, people feel compelled to not only believe, but to carry out, take part in, and feel happy that they have contributed to Nostradamus' future history. How are we to say that he's wrong about Doomsday when so many others want to make sure that he's right?

Think about it! Look at his eyes!!!

2. Mayan Calendar

December 21, 2012 is when the 13th Baktun (Mayan long count) cycles back to 0, something astronimically remarkable will happen.
At the sun's crossing of the ecliptic's center, which occurs on every solstice at noonday, the sun will conjunct also with galactic plane, and even more remarkably, be in direct conjunction with the galactic center!
I think you know what that means.... death time for peabodies!

1. Sun

Skin cancer...ultraviolet rays...not a place where we could live. Could go nova, shedding off its outer layers... INTO OUR PLANET.

Many people disregard the Doomsday Threats the Sun poses to our beloved Earth, even though it poses far more serious threats than any other existing object in the universe.
Apparently some of these so-called "life giving qualities" excuse the Sun from our watchful eye. "Don't look at it!" they say. Yes...that's exactly what it wants.... "Look away so I don't have to see your face while you die by my cosmic discharge."
At this point, I'm all aboard this "alternative resources" and "energy independence" kick, especially if it means we can finally do away with the world's most pressing doomsday threat.
Should our planet be forced to endure any Doomsday event during our lifetime, let us remember that we were all warned, here, of the arbiters of our fate. While it seems like there's little we can do, just remember that we don't have to take part in anything that even smells remotely of Armageddon. Even YOU can prevent scorching Earth fires!

Good luck, and Godspeed!

(note: no other top 10 posting of mine will ever be this thorough, but I felt this one to be of greatest urgency)

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