7 Christmas Songs That Don't Suuuuuuuuck

Okay, I like Christmas music, sue me. NO REALLY. Sue me, I dare you. I have lawyers for fingers and it will be such a delight for them to get their briefcases out and write down some notes. You have NO IDEA how long it's been since they're taken notes.

BUT JONNY, Christmas music suuuuuuuucks, you say. Okay, maybe. Not if you love Enya though. If you do love Enya then you are the kind of fool who can get around Christmas pretty easy.  But I made the case for Enya a while ago. This is about 7 Christmas songs that aren't Enya, who do not suck, unless you think they do, but they don't, so you are probably wrong. It's okay. I was wrong about Elysium. I thought it was going to be an awesome movie. It wasn't. At all.

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1. Low - Just Like Christmas ~ Okay, this is a pretty simple song. It's warbly. It's an original. Is good.

2. Bon Voyage - Holly Jolly Christmas ~ This is Jason Martin and his wife, Julie. I like their stuff. I told Jason once at Cornerstone he should make am entire Christmas album. He talked about how he drives trucks 9 months a year so he can afford to tour the other three months. It was sad.

3. The Raveonettes - The Christmas Song ~ What, you don't like the 60s? I can't help you.

4. Starflyer 59 - A Holiday Song ~ What is this like a Jason Martin blog or something? Well, you could do worse.

5. Pedro the Lion - I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day ~ Proof positive that sad-sack-o-crap Christmas songs are probably the best of all possible birds.

6. Sarah Masen - Heaven's Got a Baby ~ Original Christmas songs can be rly good. Esp if they're sung by beautiful little bbies like Sarah Masen.

7. Rosie Thomas - Christmas Don't Be Late ~ I don't know how she did it but Rosie made this terrible terrible Chimpmunks song into an amazing gospel number. No joke. This is gorge. A gorge of beauty. Jumped by Evel Knievel in 1986.

Leave your favorite Christmas song in the comments! Or don't! No skin off my stomach! haha!

Best Christmas Alumns!

Christmas music is rad, man. And so is making lists. Like the best Listservs on the planet! So let's make a Christmas list. But with a couple of stips: One, no Bing, Dean and Peggy Lee. Great Christmas warblers, sure, but they have so many albums that it's unpossible to pick one. And two, no comps, even though there are some sweet Christmas tunes from Starflyer, Pedro and JJ on Happy Christmas or Maybe this Christmas or Christmas for Goyims. Alright, enough small talk. Hit it!

15. Amy Grant - A Christmas Album
So many great synths and keytar solos. But this was Amy Grant back in tha day, before the drama, before Baby Baby, when all she wanted was a Tender Tennesse Christmas. Cheesy? Yes. Feels like home? Absolutely.

14. Enya - And Winter Came
Yes, Enya is on my list. Deal with it. These guys were Sigur Ros back when Sigur Ros was Sigur Who? Ceewatididthr? THERE ARE NO MUSIC RULES AT CHRISTMAS!!!

13. The Blind Boys of Alabama - Go Tell It on the Mountain
These guys are blind and they sing the blues and the gospel. That's hot.

12. The Beach Boys - Christmas Album
A little old, but Brian Wilson is the sweetest man since ever. That means he's sweeter than Moses. MOSES MAIMONIDES!!! Vocal cords from God herself. I'm such a feminazi.

11. Leonard Bernstein - The Joy of Christmas
Lame alert! Jonny likes the Nutcracker. Taylor Townsend, I love you. Leonard Bernstein, you're a close second.

10. Tim Dinkins - Christmas on the Moon
I found this little gem on TPB. I have no idea who Tim Dinkins is/was/is yet to be, but he's amazing. Kind of twangy, lo-fi, x-mas joy. On the moon.

9. Low - Christmas
Quite quiet tunes from everybody's favorite Mormons. What? Alan Sparhawk and Mimi Parker aren't your favorite Mormons?!? You're a sick human being. Go drive your Hummer and destroy another rain forest sick human being!!! Exclamation!

8. Christmas in Russia
Russians singing Christmas carols? Yes, like angels! Like angels on the head of a pin! A beautiful choral pin topped with gorgeous choral voices! On a pin!

7. A Christmas Gift to You from Phil Spector
Cheater! No, really I'm not. Sort of a compliation, I know, which breaks the rules. But it's from/produced by Phil Spector, man! That hair, man! And good rock music, man! Making the kids dance like demons, man! It's bad in Bomont, I hear.

6. Vince Guaraldi Trio - A Charlie Brown Christmas
Vince Guaraldi, basically you're a peach. Thanks for the best Christmas special ever.

5. Rosie Thomas - A Very Rosie Christmas
Oh Rosie, I saw you once at a house show in Seattle. You were beautiful. Basically, you should have my Christmas babies. kthnxbi!

4. Sufjan Stevens - Songs for Christmas
Yeah, possibly my favorite Sufjan song of all time is Sister Winter. All the volumes are streets ahead. Don't be streets behind, Listen!!!

3. John Denver and the Muppets - A Christmas Together
Goodness from my childhood! John Denver melts my six-year-old heart. And my current one, too. Also, did you hear they're making a new Muppets movie? And it's supposed to be not just for kids? Like the old days!!! Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat!

2. Michael W. Smith - Christmas
Best Christmas album of the 80s. Best album of W's career. Circa some time around 1988 he birthed this beautiful thing full of carols and choirs and pop songcraft. His duet with Amy G? Fabulous! That sounded gay. Tis the season!

1. Over the Rhine - The Darkest Night of the Year
Number one with a bullet. Linford and Karen own my music liver along with Jesus. B/c my heart is full with possiblity. Don't worry, it's cool. This is literally the saddest, most beautiful Christmas album of all time. It kills me. In my bones. It's like death marrow. But in a good way.