Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Hey ya'll, Frodos.
True love waits. and also, i'm waiting to post more lists until a few things:
#1. i have more TIME
#2. I have time to THINK
#3. I watch more x-files.
but i also, like paco, wanted to give you a preview of the lists i'm going to be posting like a ghosting.
#1. top albums of significance to moi
#2. top hip hop songs of the year
#3. top things i wanna check out come the new year
#4. reasons why i need a new job
#5. reasons why i don't.
#6. tip top top hats
#7. as etiquette goes, things to NOT say to people who have just had a baby.
#8. Or maybe, in social situations, things to NOT say. this might help a few of you... or at least this might help a few people who a few of us know or don't know
yeah, i'm burning on ya.
i would post my top ideas for tattoos. HOWEVER, I KNOW YOU ASSHOLES WOULD STEAL THEM
so i'm not.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
1. Top 10 MoovaayS!
2. Top Some number korean street foods!
3. Music is divided up into three catergories because last year my list was too long. So this year it is still too long but I've cheated it into three fake catergories so it seems more digestible:
a. Top 10 Hip-Hop Albums
b. Top 15 Indie Rock/Electronic/Not the other two catergories
c. Top 25 Drone/Ambient/Experimental/Other stuff
4. Top 35 Sweetest Blades of all time
5. Top 10 Sexiest ways to hold your ground
6. Top 6 Ways to sex up your trip to the post office
7. Top 100 Celeb tips for going to the library...covered in granola barzzzz, whowh!
8. Best Zany Granny Fatties of the new millenium
9. Worst ways that I totally slaughtered homeless dudes in the dark of night
10. Worst ways to spell "tanny" or "blads" or "tanny blads"
11. Coolest new hairdoos and hairdoo nots of jazz
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Top Scotts, Tod Dogs
I really wanted to get this list out quick. I knew that if I waited to long, then all my favorite jams would appear on someone else’s list. So here they are. The top 10 songs of 2014
10. Paper Mouth Times “Tell me tell me can you talk to moms?”
This one almost didn’t make the cut. But I have been listening to a lot of music in the past few days trying to make this list, and for the past few days I can’t quit singing “I need a girl who can handle my affairs, everyone knows I don’t like dealing with parents, tell me can you talk to moms, baby can you talk with dads too?” Paper Mouth Times might have made a few mistakes this year (“Last Week’s Tiles”, “Baby Grabbing”), but this wasn’t among them.
9. Tim’s Sister Jen “ That bag has lots of straps”
What can we say? 2014 has definitely been the year of the strap. Yet T.S.J. manages to jump aboard the band wagon and take us in a whole new direction. T.S.J. may not be subtle about their love of pop culture, but that’s what makes this song so good. Indeed, all anyone can think about is straps, but never before have we thought about them with such a sense of belonging.
“How many straps? What? How many straps? Lots!”
8. In the Time of Clips “No shoes, no shirt, no crystals”
The beauty of this song lies in its simplicity. The way the synths and pads dance around Hester’s dream like voice makes us almost wonder if we she is even really singing at all, or if these words are materializing directly into our brains. “I need 7 crystals to perform a magic ritual of healing, or my grandma is a gonner. Sorry dude; can’t you read the sign? Yeah but I’ve got all the other stuff, all that’s left is the crystals. Please. She’s really bad off. Beat it punk.” You can’t make that shit up.
7. D.J. Snakey Dick “Oh shit, Sherlock”
The first time I heard this song, my friend Jim looked at me and said “That’s it, I’m done.” We knew that this was gonna be big. We’ve got ourselves a double decker dance anthem on our hands. The constant chugging of the bass, the slip stream riffs of the guitar. Who hasn’t walked out of a club chanting “The Baskervilles train arrives at 12 o’clock, all aboard hell hound, oh shit Sherlock.”
6. Toronto Cat Cam “the littlest cakes ever”
What lead singer Marsh Billers lacks in size, he sure as hell makes up for in sound. His voice is like a two ton cannon blasting out menthol cigarettes and postcards marked “wish you were here. . .NOT”. Toronto Cat Cam’s live show is a tour de force in dreams and neighbors. The playful bigotry between Billers and drummer Larry Phrases is a delight to behold onstage.
5. Seth Towns “Why do all the girls love Brandon?”
It seems like Seth Towns arrived out of nowhere. Last years “Dammit, Brandon” planted a subconscious seed in our minds. Town’s online only release of “Tell me that’s not Brandon over there with Sara Tiffanies” pulled us in slowly and wrapped its sultry honky tonk tentacles around our hearts. But what really got us was the smooth jazzy, alt country styling’s of “Why do all the girls love Brandon?” I’m sure we haven’t heard the last of Seth Towns, or Brandon for that matter.
4. Darcy and the Pitbulls “Mary had a little bottom” (Strap Gift remix)
It might have been a slow year for Darcy and the Pitbulls, but London’s Strap Gift took us for the ride of a lifetime. Strap Gift has somehow managed to turn the unlistenable “Mary had a little bottom” into an all out rock riot of raucousness. Yes “Mary had a little bottom, whose size was small and dull” but this is definitely a different Mary and a different bottom than the one dreamt of by Darcy and the Pitbulls.
3. Dillby Paters “This time it’s money”
We were all shocked to learn that Flame Johnson was calling it quits and leaving Now that’s My Deals. But who would have thought that fledgling drummer Paters would rise from the ashes that was Deals and release an astounding solo debut? Not Chad, that’s who. Paters hit single “This time it’s money” showed the world that he meant business and business is good. Some may call Paters music experimental, but I say the experiment is on you, asshole!
2. 5% of 12 is Horse Cock “bbbbbbbbbbbbbbtt”
“bbbbbbbbbbbtt” is the kind of song that is full of swirls and eddies, tides and tidies. Somehow it manages to be both crisp and blunt at the same time. At once loud and not as loud. It’s the paradox that lovers of 5% of 12 is Horse Cock have come to know and love. In his sing songy style A. A. Milne reminds us that “life is a nice time. Nice times are icy parts and party pants. Patty is definitely a ho. Now everybody stand and do a tammy dance!”
1. The Mighty Mighty BossTones “Take your stacks of things NOW!!!”
The world was stunned with the announcement that the legendary Bosstones would finally be releasing their long awaited follow up to Pin Points and Gin Joints, but the biggest surprise of the year came when we found out that in fact, they’ve still got it. “Take your stacks of things NOW!!!” picks up right where they last let off, only more in your face than ever before. The horns and the chants and the skank parties are all still there, except now they are all multiplied sevenfold and many more times. I tried to count how many times in a day I saw someone listening to their ipod supreme mouthing the words “don’t make me spray you with some water, don’t make me put my hand in your face, don’t make me tell you that your silly, take your stacks of things NOW!!!”, but there were just to many to count.
We can only hope that 2015 brings more of what we love, and what we love is all these songs I mentioned in the aforementioned list above this sentence.
He just came up to me and started talking. He was old looking but not the 78 he said he was. the best part of all of it was that he spoke english with an italian american accent and said things like "pizza pie" and "sawsage." It was the best and he invited me to come visit the school he is a night watchman at sometime and he will cook me cheeseburger or a pizza pie. There are lot more things right now but because of number one on this list i can't type very well.
1. Got Forced Drunk With a lot of Korean Old men.
Today was some kind of festival in our small village center so we went to go serve a bunch of old dudes delicious meats and items. But the old dudes love me because I'm the wierd white guy in the room, so especially this one old dude with a trachiotomy so I can't understand a single thing he is saying especially in korean, really loved me and wanted me to drink lots of Soju (A sort of Korean Rice Vodka) with him and his old buds. I managed to escape after only having three double shots and a half shot, so I'm not totally out of it here at 2 pm but I have taken some affect into my blood stream and conciousnesssssssssssssss. But it was really hilarious and no way to avoid it and now that old man loves me bad. They also asked me to dance and since some kaorake but i had to leave out of there real bad, don't I had it! Oh those olds and there olds mans days!
Update: woah, I'm tired now!!!!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Likes: neutrality, profitting from the Holocaust, women's rights
499. Selim II
State: Ottoman Empire
Likes: orgies, debauchery
Dislikes: everything else about being the Sultan
498: Jie of Xia
Reign: c. 1625 B.C.
Likes: oppression, his concubine Mo Xi
Dislikes: not being carried around on a sedan chair
497. Sir Hector Horace Hearne
Note: There is some question as to the authenticity of this image.
Likes: Roman Law, taking it easy
496. Arturo Frondizi
Likes: Doing funny looks with people, as evidenced here.
Dislikes: foreign investment in things other than oil
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Understand the awsomeness? Obviously you do. Now here's how it gets even awesomer.
WARNING: Real and/or fake SPOILERS ahead.
The Cool Kids - Knocked Down - Opening song for the film. A montage of Bella, Edward and Jacob waking up and getting ready for school. Choosing the right lid, lacing up their kicks, throwing on a sick polo. Toe-to-head shots of each of them leaving their houses, loading into an Escalade (I don't care if the werewolf and the vampire don't really interact, this scene is cooler than "continuity"), popping the moon roof, and exiting slow motion into the school parking lot.
Animal Collective - My Girls - This song plays way before Edward breaks up with Bella so he won't be tempted to kill he by drinking her blood. In a happy moment, Edward give Bella a piggy back ride while swinging from trees in Washington State like a pale monkey. What? He doesn't swing from trees? Well he does in this movie. Because it would make a memorable scene. What a joyful swing in the trees it would be with this song playing! Bella whooping! Edward smiling! Bella laughing! Edward wanting to drink her blood! Bella biting her lip! Future Edward breaking up with her because of what happens in the every next scene!
Dan Deacon - Paddling Ghost - This song plays during the birthday party for Bella. It's all fun and games until Bella gets a paper cut and some vampire dude tries to waste her. What a douche. But until then, kickass boat party with vampires and ghosts and pirates and cuddly, hand-gesturing horses. Bill Murray makes a cameo appearance as Peter Venkman.
Beyonce - Halo - This song will play while Edward breaks up with Bella because he's afraid he or his family members will try to drink her blood or something similarly inappropriate. The lyrics will opposite-reflect the current state of Bella and Edward's relationship. Regardless, Beyonce is freaking beautiful and I could watch this video all day. Also, angels.
Richard Swift - The Atlantic Ocean - This song plays while Edward takes a plane across the ocean to Europe. There will be a comedy of errors in which he will miss his original flight, take an alternate flight to France, walk around like Charlie Chaplin in City Lights complete with stache and cap, misplace his flower, eat some cheese and crusty bread, fight some sweet robot dancers who are terrorizing the French, then hitch hike across the alps to Italy. There will be a graphic novel tie-in chronicling his further adventures exclusive to Barnes and Noble.
Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks - This song plays as we get to understand the monotony of Bella's life post-Edward. She wakes up. Cries. Goes to school. Cries. Takes notes in chemistry. Cries. Eats lunch with new BFF Werewolf. Cries. Doesn’t worry about her boyfriend wanting to kill her for her blood. Cries. Does wicked hard daredevil stunts after school on motorcycles with Werewolf. Cries. Tries emailing her vampire boyfriend but remembers that he doesn’t know how to use technology because he's 108 YEARS OLD AND CAN’T LEARN THE COMPUTER BOX! Cries. This scene will break your heart!
Up Next: Songs from Wye Oak and Raekwon, plus French dance crazes. Stay tuned.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
10. Fennesz - Endless Summer
The main thing here is the title track, which sounds like Beach Boys for the post-apocalyptic summer. It feels as though there's a radioactive haze around everything that, rather than being suffocating, only serves to make the few moments of total exposure all the more delicious. The rest of the album rules too.
9. The Avalaches - Since I Left You
This one is so nice. The very first track invites us to come in and to have a drink and a good time. And I swear to God, every time I really think to myself, "Yeah? Okay, I will."
8. The Unicorns - Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?
I had totally forgotten about this one until I started making this list, but as soon as I saw it I knew it was going to be up there. These are great death-obsessed yet impossibly bright pop songs.
7. Sufjan Stevens - Illinois
You know the drill. Sufjan is awesome, and this is the best one.
6. Wolf Parade - Apologies to the Queen Mary
A couple of boy geniuses.
5. Panda Bear - Person Pitch
I guess this is Animal Collective's representative in my top ten. This is probably the best thing any of them did this decade, although everything they do is awesome. If this was a list of top artists, Animal Collective would be #1.
4. The Books - Thought For Food
All but the broadest definitions would probably question whether the The Books is music. Analytically, it's pretty much just sequences of samples plus some cello. However, when you actually listen to it, there's no question that it is not only music, but awesome jams. I guess you just have to follow your heart!
3. Manitoba - Up in Flames
A lot of you probably think this one is too high, and I'll admit it's partly here for sentimental reasons. This was really the first electronic music that I listened as more than a joke. However, it's still some of the most lush and vibrant music of any genre that I've heard. I feel that his more recent releases pale in comparison.
2. The Microphones - The Glow Pt. 2
While making this list, I focused on thinking about not what I listened to this decade, but how. The albums at the top of my list are ones that I listened to in a very intentional way. This one is a great example. There have been so many times when I wanted to listen to this album and this album only. And by listen I mean pretty much just sitting there, listening. I think that's the sign of a good one!
1. Yo La Tengo - And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
The other day I was talking to Bryce about his top albums, and he mentioned that for him, each album has an associated memory of listening to it while driving somewhere with a particular person or group of people. This got me thinking that, probably, all art is fundamentally about processing memory: either specific memories of individuals or an inherent collective Platonic memory of the ideal.
I bring this up because my top album is really about memory itself. The lyrics make this apparent, but you can easily tell if you ignore the words altogether. It's evident in the slowness, patience, and tenderness these songs exhibit. For me, this album serves as a kind of universal nostalgia. Somehow, it reminds me of everything. That's why it's my top tog.
Next up is my list of top 500 historical heads of state.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
24. Hollywood AD
22. Kill Switch
21. Our Town
18. Signs and wonders
15. Paper hearts
14. All Souls
12. 1st Person shooter
11. Anasazi/Blessing Way/Paper Clip
now.... the next 5 of this very long POST.
10. Small Potatoes (4x20 – Vince Gillian)
“the birds and bees and the monkey babies, mulder”: Part One
There is never a lack of creativity with story lines with the writers of The X-Files. Some episodes amaze me with different characteristics – this episode makes me laugh all over the place.
“Not unless they have trailer parks in space”: Part Two
I really like the Villains who aren’t villains, just people who are in some way extraordinary, even if they have the guise and live the life of completely ordinary. Eddie VanBlundht, who at first meeting with Mulder, Fox rolls his eyes, is just this wonderfully crafted type of stand alone character. He’s amazing, he’s witty in his dullness and most of all, he’s got “personality”. Darin Morgan, writer of “Clyde Bruckman” and “Humbug” plays Eddie and his talent in pulling off this con-artist’s persona is just as stellar as his writing ability!
“Scully, should we be picking out China patterns or what?”: Part Three
There is a theme with me, if you haven’t noticed – I happen to, like any normal X-File lover, roll around in the glory that is Mulder and Scully’s relationship. Their chemistry is phenomenal and the other types of tension happen to be brought out to light during a candlelit rendezvous with… er.. mulder? Noteworthy scene: Mulder’s apartment scene after the investigation wraps up.
9. Triangle (6x03 – Chris Carter)
“How’d you like to see the stars on the American flag” :Part One
You know that feeling when, at the very beginning of something, you can tell it’s going to be awesome? That’s the beginning of this episode. September 3rd 1939 is being relived in the Bermuda Triangle and the history pours forth X-Files style. Fox Mulder has his chance to stand up to the Nazis and to make sure history’s course stays on track.
“There are spies everywhere.. Trust no one!” Part Two
Speaking to the theme of evil living on in every era, this episode carries out, in a very Wizard of Oz-espe style, that yes, in fact, we hold those we love and trust close – and those we don’t , those who have betrayed us and those who are down right nasty, have been and probably always will be.
“in case we never meet again”: Part 3
Mulder acts on intuition – this episode is no different. With the fate of the future resting on his decision, he decides to trust the OSS Scully – who, of course, doesn’t let him down. This episode is brilliant with few cuts and beautifully executed ship shots. Sometimes I feel claustrophobic watching this. Two more things, Scully is fluent in German in this epi, harking back to season four’s “Unruhe”. Secondly, the Noteworthy scene is the ballroom fight – who doesn’t like to see Nazis getting their ass’ kicked?
8. all things (7x17 – Gillian Anderson)
“time passes in moments”: Part One
Sometimes I run across something that reminds me of me – the themes and macro ideas of this very intimate episode resonates in my soul of souls, the questions asked and the dialogue held have oft been my quandaries and personal conversations.
“When we hold on to shame, guilt and fear – it creates an imbalance, makes us forget who we are”: Part Two
I love, love, love the take on Eastern religions/healers and sickness of this episode – tackling the hard lesson of embracing who and what we are for the sake of striking a balance with the universe, no matter how small we are.
“How many different lives would we be leading if we made different choices”: Part Three
Finally, Scully has to go on this journey alone. We see that in this series from time to time, but it is a rare gem to behold, but she had to embark alone on this spiritual, profound journey alone because we all have to do that. Questioning choices, she wonders if she’s really happy of is she’s just going through the motions. I believe the end of this episode wraps up our questions just fine. Let’s not forget to mention about this episode, the entire 45ish minutes is beautiful; wonderfully shot, manipulating and gorgeous. Noteworthy moment: the temple scene.
7. The Field Where I Died (4x05 – Glen Morgan and James Wong)
“At times I almost dream I, too, have spent a life the sage’s way..”: Part one
Doesn’t the age old question ask if we survive death – and if we do, why and how and where? This episode strikes something deep in my soul and makes me unspeakably sad. I believe this X-File does so much more than investigate the paranormal, it investigates humanity while journeying into the spiritual. Another X-File lover describes this epi as “poignant” and “heart breaking” and “romantic” (http://www.munchkyn.com/xf-rvws/field.html). And I agree on all three counts.
“Souls come back together…different…but always together.” Part two
David Duchovny and Kristen Cloke (the Melissa Reidel-Ephesian) give superb renditions of bereaved and devastated people ripped apart by death – Mulder reminds us that, though separated now, “love, love, ..souls mate.” This X-File is eerily beautiful and painstakingly pitch perfect on many levels. Noteworthy scenes include any scene in the field.
6. The Unnatural (6x20 – David Duchovny)
“I don’t wanna be a famous man… I just wanna be a man”: Part One
This is a heart string plucking episode that makes the all-American girl in me sing from the mountain tops. Jesse L. Martin is fabulous as Negro League Superstar Josh Exley – he carries this X-File on his back with his never ceasing smile and humble persona. He is easily one of my favorite outside actors - he is strong, brave, graceful and what everyone wants in a hero.
“Maybe you should start paying less attention to the heart of the mystery and more attention to the mystery of the heart”: Part two
Mulder is passionate and driven and so devoted to his life’s work that I forget he probably has days off from the FBI. It was nice to see one of Mulder’s Saturdays. I love the sense of wonderment Fox encapsulates during Arthur Dale’s story – it’s all kinds of inspiring – when he stops trying to figure it out and just listens.. and is.
“Life ain’t like baseball, is it, Arthur?”: Part Three
This episode has mass appeal – it’s a sports themed tear jerker, motivation to be true to one’s heart and inspiring to love and love without foul. Even the demise of the hero is amazingly heroic. And as far as I’m concerned David Duchovny has, you guessed it, hit a home run! Noteworthy scene: The final scene makes my heart explode.
Monday, December 07, 2009
Description: "A group of fledgling elves (the players) are charged with visiting as many of the twenty Elfencities as they can over a short period of time. To accomplish the task they will use various forms of transportation such as Pigs, Elfbikes, Magic Clouds, Trollwagons, and Dragons."
My Thoughts: This is like a better version of Ticket to Ride. It has a bit more complexity and a turn progression that I like more.
Description: "As card games go, this one is quite revolutionary. Perhaps its oddest feature is that you cannot rearrange your hand, as you need to play the cards in the order that you draw them. The cards are colorful depictions of beans in various descriptive poses, and the object is to make coins by planting fields (sets) of these beans and then harvesting them. To help players match their cards up, the game features extensive trading and deal making."
My Thoughts: I don't usually like card games that much, but this one is an exception. It's short, and card trading element is very fun.
8. Stone Age
Description: "Players struggle to survive the Stone Age by working as hunters, collectors, farmers, and tool makers. As you gather resources, and raise animals, you work to build the tools needed to build your civilization."
My Thoughts: I've only played this once, but I really liked it. It's a typical worker placement game that seems to be very well implemented.
Description: "Players seek to build a collection of districts worth from one to eight points. Once someone has built eight districts, the game is over after that round ends and the player with the highest total value wins. However to facilitate the process (and make the game interesting), players sequentially choose a character from a rapidly dwindling pool of eight each turn. The characters give players special abilities for the turn."
My Thoughts: Another card game exception. The key here is the character cards, which are selected secretly each round. This makes for a good deal of poker-like thinking/guessing.
6. Formula D
Description: "Formula D is a fast-paced racing game in which the cars' top speeds are limited by having to end a certain number of turns in each curve of the racetrack. This can be tricky, because although players can regulate their speeds by choosing which gear to be in and each gear allows a certain range of movement, the exact amount is determined randomly."
My Thoughts: You'd think a racing board game would be lame, but it's not! It's exciting, and features lots of fun dice-rolling.
5. Galaxy Trucker
Description: I can't find a good description for this one. Basically, there are two phases to this game. The first consists of players simultaneously grabbing tiles that are used to build a spaceship. The second phase involves sending these ships out into space and hoping they survive.
My Thoughts: This is another game I've only played a few times but really like. It's a fun combination of intense thinking and total chaos. You plan so hard in the first phase and then just sit back and watch your creation be blown apart.
Description: "You are specialists at the CDC/Atlanta where you watch several virulent diseases break out simultaneously all over the world. The team mission is to prevent a world-wide pandemic outbreak, treating hotspots while researching cures for each of the four plagues before they get out of hand."
My Thoughts: This game has a great feel that matches the theme. It always seems like you're on the brink of losing.
3. Ghost Stories
Description: "Ghost Stories is a cooperative game in which the players try to defeat the spirit of Wu-Feng, the lord of hell, and his legions of ghosts before they haunt a town and recover the ashes that will allow him to return to life. Each Player represents a taoist monk ghost hunter who is working together with the others to fight off waves of spirits and other beings mostly inspired by eastern mythology."
My Thoughts: A common trait of a lot of these games is that the player has a limited amount of information and a limited number of actions to accomplish goals. To me, using actions efficiently based on the available information is really fun!
2. Puerto Rico
Description: "The players are plantation owners in Puerto Rico in the days when ships had sails. Growing up to five different kind of crops: Corn, Indigo, Coffee, Sugar and Tobacco, they must try to run their business more efficiently than their close competitors; growing crops and storing them efficiently, developing San Juan with useful buildings, deploying their colonists to best effect, selling crops at the right time, and most importantly, shipping their goods back to Europe for maximum benefit."
My Thoughts: I love a game that gives the player lots of options. Puerto Rico offers an almost limitless number of winning combinations.
Description: "In Agricola, you're a farmer in a wooden shack with your spouse and little else. On a turn, you get to take only two actions, one for you and one for the spouse, from all the possibilities you'll find on a farm: collecting clay, wood, or stone; building fences; and so on. You might think about having kids in order to get more work accomplished, but first you need to expand your house. And what are you going to feed all the little rugrats?"
My Thoughts: Oh boy! What a good game. So much to do, so little time. This game lets players build their own farms. That's so fun! Don't you love it? Also, there's so much hard thinking. Don't you guys love thinking and farms?
So, there it is. Now come over to my house and play these with me.
Also, it should be clear that I do not claim that these are the best albums, just my favorite.
25. Damien Jurado - Ghost of David
24. Rogue Wave - Out of the Shadow
23. Modest Mouse - The Moon and Antarctica
22. Magnetic Fields - 69 Love Songs
21. Destroyer - Rubies
20. Of Montreal - Satanic Panic in the Attic
19. Bonnie "Prince" Billy - Master and Everyone
18. Solvent - Apples and Synthesizers
17. Sigur Ros - ()
16. Sun Kil Moon - Ghosts of the Great Highway
15. Arcade Fire - Funeral
14. Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion
13. The Innocence Mission - Befriended
12. Sufjan Stevens - Seven Swans
11. Gui Boratto - Chromophobia
10-1 will follow shortly.